Today I have embarked on cleaning out my closet, which is turning out to be a larger feat than anticipated. There are boxes and boxes of stuff; old diaries (which are hilarious...'dear diary, why can't I get a boyfriend?'...as if that were the most important thing in life), varsity letters, math tests that I actually did well on, notes from friends during class, photos (from the days that we actually processed FILM...
...how do you just throw things away that meant something to you once?
I've been home for a little over a week now...after the initial excitement of seeing my family, my dogs, and my very own closet with my old things, it became a little bit strange. My room was the same as it was in high school (because I haven't really lived here since then), but with a new window (thanks, Dad!) and everything in boxes from being moved out when the floors were refinished. So, not only did I have my bags from the past year, but all my dresser drawers had been emptied, and had piles of boxes waiting to also be unpacked. This was not something I was willing to deal with 3 days before Thanksgiving, so I did what I usually do when I don't want to see something in my room...I put it in the garage. Those boxes are still there, still not ready to be dealt with. Throw out? Keep? Give away? I'm not ready for this.
Per my mother's suggestion, I decided to redecorate my room, for my new beginnings. Paint was bought, colors were tested...and then everything sat in the center of my room for a week...except for the one wall I managed to do while Charlie was here. See photo. It was depressing. Still on Australia time, I couldn't fall asleep until 12 or 1 in the morning, couldn't wake up until 10 or 11 (for those that know me...not my usual pattern). After that Thanksgiving excitement had worn off and everyone in my family went back to work, I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I would wake up in the middle of my room and not feel like doing anything except go back to sleep. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was depressed, but was feeling extreme listlessness and intense sadness. In the span of a week and a half I had gone from having something going on everyday, some place to be, people to see, to having nothing. No job, no friends available (because they have jobs), and a very messy room. Or maybe what I was really sad about was that it was all over, and I was left with fond memories and no plans or goals.
Today my mom woke me up at 8, brought in the paint cans, and we both finished painting my room. My furniture rearranged, a new bedspread in place, and some quality time with my mom really made me feel much better about my new life and the possibilities it holds. 'After' photos to follow.