such great heights

i wish that i could take the same approach to life that i take to running up a hill: keep your eyes right in front of you, and don't look at how much farther you have to go.

Some loves.

She would have done anything for him. Some women are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an over-crowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out- your friends, everyone you used to know. And it's still not enough. The lifeboat is sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it.

It was the most difficult goodbye I have ever had to say.

about today.

everything looks perfect from far away.

paint your face red.

i've been reading my friend Shawn's blog on a rather regular basis, and while i'm super stoked that he and his gf are having such an amazing adventure, it also makes my heart hurt a little. i want to have adventures! adventures that don't involve my passive-aggressive boss, my greedy landlord, my smoking car, my dirty apartment, fights on the bus, and that scary crazy man on the corner by my dirty apartment. yes, i'm aware that i just had adventures not so long ago...but they're like Pringles. you can't have just one. or a tube. i need more tubes of Pringles.

i should probably just stop reading his blog. that might make me feel better.

i've been feeling quotey lately. here's one from Joey from A Softer World (totally unrelated to the contect of this entry, but who cares):
"Man, I was thinking about unrequited love. I figure it's best to just walk that shit off. Find someone else to be excited about. It's like if you love ice cream but your ice cream man friend won't give you any. Maybe he's got a good reason. It cuts into profits. Who knows? But he likes you as a friend and wants to hang out anyway. It just drives you crazy to hang out with that dude, even if he's being reasonable from his point of view. So don't hang out with him. What, you ONLY like ice cream? It's ice cream or nothing? Don't be an asshole. Learn to love donuts."

she is in everything

we don't.

but we say

we can walk away

if we want.

hang your holiday rainbow lights in the garden.

Tomorrow I am moving to the city. It's funny, I'm only moving across a bay, but I'm still anxious. I don't even remember how I managed to move across an entire ocean. But it's a good feeling....like breathing new life into something stale. That's how I've been feeling...stale.

Today I signed up for two classes at City College of San Francisco, neither of which are nursing related. But I'm excited, because they are two things I have always wanted to be better at. Beginning Conversational Spanish, and Elementary Guitar. Now I can use the beautiful Taylor guitar that I got for Christmas 7 years ago. And now I can pretend even better to speak Spanish when I drink.

It's going to be a busy Spring, I don't think I could've handled Microbiology. I signed up for a full marathon, and submitted my portfolio for review to take the national license for massage exam. I'm going to 2 weddings, and Salt Lake City, and my cousins from Australia are coming. And I'll be acclimating to a new life. Micro can wait.

And Erin Conger is moving here.

Things are looking up...so don't look down.